Crossdressing Heroes
by TheSullenPrincess
Summary: Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear silky women's clothes, while others wear skintight bodysuits. (Pregame BoTW)


Disclaimer: Do not own The Legend of Zelda, Nintendo, or any of its characters.

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Crossdressing Heroes

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"Hey, baby. You look so hot."

Zelda frowned.

"Yeah, _so_ hot. Get it. 'Cause we're in the desert."

Her eye twitched.

"Well, I think you're _hotter_ than the desert."

A vein throbbed.

"So much hotter. Like, like... _So_ much hotter than the desert."

She drummed her fingers against her crossed arms.

"Come on, man. Stop repeating everything I say."

"But she likes when the words come out of _my_ mouth, don't you, you fine thang."

Her foot tapped.

"Baby, I have died and gone to heaven because your body... Simply angelic."

She ground her teeth.

"Yeah, well... You're _so_ hot."

"_WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP AND GO AWAY ALREADY!_" Zelda exploded, panting slightly from her outburst. She had been standing under the scorching hot Gerudo sun for minutes now, sweat dripping down the sides of her face in an unappealing way, feet sore from walking on uneven sand all day and the two men would not get the hint and leave. Safe to say the Princess of Hyrule had had enough. "Get going or else I'll—"

One of the men, a tall, lanky fellow with glasses frowned. "Excuse me, but we weren't even talking to you."

Zelda glared.

The other, a short stocky build guy, crossed his arms and repeated, "Yeah, we weren't talking to you."

She seethed.

"Our business is with _her_," the first man motioned to his right, where a pretty young woman was standing with closed eyes, arms crossed, hip jutted out as she rested her weight to one side of her body.

Zelda fisted her hands.

"Yeah, this really _hot_ pretty thang."

She saw red. "Leave. Now. Before. I. Make. You," Zelda grit out behind clenched teeth, certain at any moment her teeth would be ground into dust from the sheer force she was using to keep herself from shouting again.

The young woman's eyes finally opened, revealing a pair of beautiful blue eyes the color of sapphires. They were half-lidded with disinterest and looking directly into Zelda's angry-looking green ones. The mysterious woman lifted a brow in silent defiance.

This gesture, coupled with the men's taunting comments of "Oh, what are you gonna do then?" "Yeah, what _are_ you gonna do?" made Zelda act without thinking.

Without hesitation, she drew her bow and cocked an arrow to the string. Zelda felt the bow grow taut with a creak, felt the tension under her fingers. They watched with bated breath, all except the young woman who had closed her eyes again.

There was silence.

Then a hissing sound.

It grew louder until a spark shone at the tip of the arrow. Zelda pointed it in the direction of the three individuals who stood in front of her. The men were now sweating profusely, and Zelda took satisfaction in knowing it wasn't from the sweltering heat. Closing one eye, and with a whispered breath, she let the arrow fly—pulling her arm skyward and shooting it into the sky at the last second.

A huge boom echoed the sandy wasteland, sending fire, smoke, and bits of debris flying overhead and unsettling the once calm sand under their feet. The men screamed and tripped over their own feet in a desperate attempt to run away, kicking up more sand as they did so.

Zelda grinned, lowering her arm to bring the bow back at her side. A bit of an overkill, she thought, and definitely a waste of a good bomb arrow. Yet seeing how quickly they were now alone, it was well worth it.

Looking over at the other girl Zelda felt herself frowning again. "Well, _you_ weren't much help."

The girl didn't even look phased as she opened her eyes once more, still deceptively bored as ever. She said nothing as Zelda continued to hold her companion's gaze.

A well-timed breeze flew by, picking up sand and carrying it across the desert with ease. It played with Zelda's hair, ruffling it behind her, and tugging at the hem of her blue tunic. Similarly, in front of her, the wind played with the girl's Gerudo outfit. Lilac and teal fabric made of the finest silk flittered and danced, causing the many intricate gold pieces of jewelry hanging off the top and bottoms in great detailing to twinkle in merriment.

Before dying down completely the breeze had also managed to lift the veil covering the lower half of the girl's face in secrecy. Zelda caught a glimpse of a muscular jawline before the silk settled back down.

Zelda didn't know why but this upset her more than the attention the men had been giving her companion a few moments ago. Walking closer so that now the two were standing face-to-face, Zelda eyed her friend with arms crossed. "You can drop the whole Gerudo vai act now. We're well away from the town so there's no need for you to look like this anymore, Link."

Link said nothing as he continued to stare at Zelda, who had been wondering this whole time how in Hylia's name her knight could even pass off as female so easily that women and even _men_ were fooled into thinking there was no difference. She finally had to relent and figured it was a combination of the feminine Gerudo attire and Link's androgynous figure.

Zelda sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. Link still hadn't said anything before ultimately deciding to just resume walking. They still had a long way to go until they reached the desert's border and the longer they stood around the hotter it would get. It was barely noon, the sun was directly overhead now, and it would only continue to get hotter, adding to Zelda's annoyance.

It was just as she was taking a drink of her water that she heard Link mutter from behind his veil, "You're the one who started it." Although, she wouldn't have heard him if not for the fact that he was now walking beside her.

"Excuse me? What are you talking abo—"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't act like you don't remember."

She frowned. What in the world could Link possibly be referring to?

Sensing her confusion, Link elaborated, "A seventeen-year-old boy with his fairy is aided by a mysterious person with a harp, using magically infused notes to help the boy travel the lands of Hyrule in search of awakening six Sages and their powers to save said lands." He paused for a heartbeat. "Get it now, _Sheik_?"

Zelda blinked. Then came to a stop. Finally, she said, "You've been in the castle's library again, haven't you." Link had also come to a stop, facing her with an unreadable expression. She sighed, "First of all, that wasn't me. It was a different Zelda. Second, how is hiding from Ganondorf for seven long years by disguising herself as a man in any way shape or form a bad thing? And what does _that_ have to do with _this_?" She flicked Link's veil. A charm jingled.

As much as Zelda wanted to understand Link's logic, it still made no sense to her. She, too, had always wondered what her ancestor must have been thinking, posing as a man named Sheik for years in order to help a past Link save Hyrule. But she just couldn't get her head wrapped around it.

_I suppose crossdressing runs in our genes_, she thought dryly. "Look," the princess sighed again, needing to end this quickly before they both died from dehydration, "She—I—Sheik—whatever, we deceived him—you—whatever, _way_ back then, and you deceived me back in town earlier." Zelda couldn't help but think back to the events where she had tried to escape Link's security detail and wound up shocked to see her bodyguard decked out in frilly Gerudo clothes to gain entrance. Would wonders ever cease to amaze her? "So, we're even now, right?"

Link sniffed. "You still started it."

"Yes, fine, _whatever_. Now can we please resume our journey out of here before we die?" Not waiting a moment longer Zelda charged on ahead, not caring if her bodyguard followed or not. The whole situation was just weird made even weirder by the fact that Link still had not made an attempt to change. "And any chance you'll be changing soon?" Kara Kara Bazaar was still a ways away yet despite this, Zelda didn't think she could handle any more men fawning over her knight on the way there.

He shrugged. "It's nice being appreciated."

She faltered forward, struggling to regain her balance on the uneven ground. Link, however, didn't look at her, clearly uncaring that Zelda was about to have a stroke from all the madness. "Did you just say…" She blinked. Once, twice. Three times. "You're looking for appraisals, _that's_ why you won't change?" The man said nothing as he continued on his way, his clothes ruffling in the slight wind. Zelda shook her head in disbelief, "Why didn't you just say so?" She resumed her normal pace. "I can do that. You look…nice," she desperately tried not to make a face. "Really. I like the way your…top matches your eyes. Yeah. And your sirwal compliments your complexion." Zelda could feel his eyes on her face but she desperately looked anywhere else. Clearing her throat loudly, she desperately tried getting some moisture in her mouth. "So, can you change now? Because I gotta say, Link, despite your…fashionable sense, seeing you like this… What I mean is—"

"You're just jealous that I look prettier than you."

She fell. This time she didn't bother getting back up.

"_Now_ we're even."

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_I wrote this when I had severe writer's block while working on the last couple of chapters of Life's Trials. Finally managed to finish it and create...this. __I just find it amusing how Zelda in OoT dressed as a guy, and now, Link gets to dress as a girl in BoTW. Like, I'm sure Nintendo was like, "It's only fair, Link!" I'm not complaining._


End file.
